Extremely skimpy and revealing undergarments, usually women's, worn to divert attention from their faces while reducing waste of natural resources. Garments of similar minimalist design may be worn by men if they are gay or French.
For quick results Bill advises to check a woman for three things: underage, under the influence and underwhere.
In texting the inability to be witty, clever (or even coherent) when it's important to make a favorable impression.
She: Huh? Wht a dorky comment.
He: Uh, sorry, I get all thumb-tied when having text with a new girl--nervous, can't think of what to say uh do you like dogs?
She: Chill. Take a Beta blocker. SYL. Not! dork.
Females of the species, usually young and attractive, wearing swimming attire or less common undergarments designed with a narrow band of fabric extending across the pelvic arch and thence between the buttocks thereby connecting the frontal and dorsal parts of the garment.
He's such an unambitious pervert he gets off looking at the thong birds in Victoria's Secret or the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.