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17 definitions by Simon C. Dermer

 
1.
Constipation induced by oxycontin.
"Get outta there butt sludge, I need to use the toilet. You've been in there all nite you hillbilly heroine-popping degenerate."

"You should go use the bathroom in the lobby of the Four Seasons or something since I'm not going anywhere fast. I make no apologies sir for I am oxyconstipated."
von Simon C. Dermer 18. Januar 2010
 
2.
The act of communicating with a female who speaks a foreign language by using your mouth, lips, and tongue to stimulate her genitals.
"Mr. O'Donaghue, how did you persuade Mme. Ambassador to agree to the terms of the Treaty if she only speaks Swahili and French and no one at the Irish Embassy was available to translate?"

"My cunnilingua franca is not too bad I tell you. Not too bad at all."
von Simon C. Dermer 26. Oktober 2010
 
3.
When a stripper is talented enough to swing both ways on the pole.
Most of those nudy dancers are one-way pole rotators. But that one over there can twirl both ways. I know she's amberdextrous cause I saw her.
von Simon C. Dermer 23. Juli 2009
 
4.
The date rape drug cocktail women use on unsuspecting men.

It's a portmanteau from viagra and roofie.
The toxicology report came back positive. The victim was viagroofied. Next step is to file criminal charges against the offending women.
von Simon C. Dermer 23. Juli 2009
 
5.
An Americano is a style of coffee. A shot of espresso combined with hot water.

If you take it black, then you're having an African Americano.
To the barrista - "May I have an Americano please?"

"Do you take it with milk sir?"

"Nothing thanks. Just make it an African Americano please."
von Simon C. Dermer 23. Juli 2009
 
6.
Raisin Dieter

Sara Palin's pronunciation of "raison d'etre".
For some folks in the liberal media, making fun of me seems to be their raisin dieter.
von Simon C. Dermer 21. Dezember 2009
 
7.
It's what you call it when a psychiatrist has an affair with an adult patient in their care.
Any shrink who gets caught banging their patient shouldn't have their license taken away for having a psychiatryst. They should be struck for being such a poor diagnostician.
von Simon C. Dermer 25. Juli 2009