Wilson: (stunned) Are you talking like a vandal? I don't know. What good will a Sale Bat do me? Are you trying to get me in trouble here?
Beatrice: No, this is how you use a Sale Bat. Its a whole lot of fun. What you do is you take it to the store and wait for an old granny like me to come and steal a sale item. Then here's the fun part: you clobber them with it. I mean, you really let 'em have it!
Bryant: Beatrice Elvira Mary Duke Middleton!! What in the world are you teaching him? To steal stuff? Oh my God! My own Gunny Granny, a common criminal!!
Beatrice: (laughing) Well, you want a piece of it! We could We could practice on Grandma Flo. It'd be fun. Then we could go to the store and try it out for real.
Morris: (really angry) Mom, I don't approve of this. You are NOT taking that ball bat to the store. I will not have it!
Beatrice: (starts swinging at Morris with the baseball bat) You want a piece of me, son? Do you?!! Pretend I'm at the store trying to steal something you want. I'm trying to give you all a lesson here. That's all this is.
Morris: Hey, that item was in my cart. Get away from it!! (grabs the bat and whacks Beatrice hard in the arm).
Beatrice: That's it! You've got it now! That's a Sale Bat. Every granny should keep one of these. Even a Gunny Granny like me.